Can Isis Do It?

Watching the season premiere of America’s Next Top Model last night made me remember how cheesy the show actually is. Starting off in a futuristic model academy where they weeded out the original 12 from, I was actually excited to see Mr. Jay’s hair – it was different! Still silver but down, with a crimp! And the next episode had it back to the original.

The girls on the show are so typecast as well. Sheena the crazy Korean/Japanese/Harlem chick who definitely won’t get far. An Agyness Duncan wannabe who will have a meltdown in the middle of the series because she’s a ‘ball of nerves’. A couple of ghetto chicks. A couple of white down South girls and an Alaskan girl who are all freaked out by Isis.

My sweet little Isis. So strong, so courageous, so a publicity stunt for Tyra (who herself mentioned that this is a huge step for the gay, lesbian, and transgender community – are we supposed to believe that she just made that up out of her mouth on the spot?).

For those who hadn’t seen it, Isis was born a man, but always felt like a woman and is hoping to get surgery soon to make herself a woman completely. She tucked the peen into her bathing suit like there was no tomorrow. They picked Isis from last season – remember the hobo photoshoot? She was one of the bums in the background.

She knows how to pose and take good pictures, but she’s not necessarily the most feminine looking thing.

Do you think Isis will get far in the competition?

Or do you think it’s just a publicity stunt for Tyra to get ratings?

Upsetting news.

America’s Next Top Model Cycle 10 Winner: Whitney. The token plus-size girl won. Score one for Tyra. Score 500 for the pictures of Whitney from BEFORE ANTM where she was a size 2 to 4, not a size 10 to 12 like she is now. Which is fine, if it weren’t for the fact that she constantly bemoaned on the show that in high school she was always the pretty but chubby girl, and the pictures of her BEFORE antm hardly show that.

Wanna see?

Click here to see Whitney’s skinny pictures.

Let the conspiracies begin!

Us Polish Girls Stick Together

Tonight was the girls first night in Rome, and the shoot of their Cover Girl commercial, in Italian. So obviously the “this is so not me” Lauren already has a problem with it. The super blonde Anya won the challenge again this week and received a gorgeous dress from some Italian designer – but she picked out the tackiest outfit of all the girls.

Katarzyna is my absolute favourite. She always looks so hot, so put together, and she’s never annoying. My only fear is that she’s too forgettable for the judges. And I HATE Dominique. She’s freaking tranny heaven. Whitney’s still playing the plus size role, and Fatima is really whiny this episode.

Kataryna all the way!

Finally, Marvita is history!

I hated Marvita when she tried out last cycle (or was it the cycle before?), and now for her to make it into the house and last this long on this cycle – well that was just too much. She’s too ghetto, her self-esteem is too low to make it in the modelling world. Sorry Marvita, it’s true.

But I must admit that I was on the edge of my seat when she was put up against Whitney for elimination (the token “plus-size” girl) because the ‘bigger’ girl always gets the boot.

And I must say I was a little annoyed with Tyra for emphasizing so much about Fatima’s unshaven underarm. I mean, seriously, the picture was beautiful (other than the extra fuzz) but she embarassed her so badly, you would think Tyra, with all her caring and understanding ways would take Fatima aside, hand her a razor and some shaving gel and send her in the shower, no?

Let’s hope next week’s photoshoot is better than this week’s paint splatter art work done in grade 2 shoot. There’s always hope, right? Please Tyra – don’t disappoint!

Oh Fatima!

Watching America’s Next Top Model Cycle 10, there is one girl I love who I want to be good but really, really sucks. And that’s Fatima. Little Miss Iman – as the judges dubbed her – was in the bottom TWO last night! Amis got kicked off (thank god, the little slut didn’t even want to dress up for the judges!) and they had to do a stupid disgusting shoot.

Wearing meat bikinis. GROSS. How un-vegan can you get? At first I honestly thought it was a Peta photoshoot, but it wasn’t. It was Tyra running out of ideas and the girls were so grossed out I think only one of them got a good shot.

Is it me or are the girls on Cycle 10 NOT hot? I just don’t see it in most of them – the Top Model Gene. Not a lot of competition it seems.

America’s Next Boring Model

I realised that although I’ve been watching America’s Next Top Model Cycle 10 (can you believe there’s been that many?) I haven’t really written about it. Maybe because it’s boring? Hmm.

First things first: New Judge. Paulino Poroskova (sp?). Pretty, hot, judgemental, European, therefore loves girls who look European. BRING BACK JANICE DICKINSON. Please. I beg you. Tyra, just bring her back. She was the best thing eva.

Secondly: The models. Boring. There are maybe two or three models that actually look like they could survive in the modelling world. Here’s a rundown of the remaining girls:

 Dominique: Looks like a man (literally), they gave her a soccer mom haircut (which Tyra says they’re going to fix the colour on), but overall boring.

Amis: Big jaw. No idea who she is. That’s how boring she is.

Aimee: Boring.

Lauren: The token weirdo. ‘Her awkwardness is great!’ She will be kicked off too.

Fatima: Bitchy and claims not to be. Beautiful but doesn’t know how to model. Ugh. I love it. She better step it up.

Anya: Hawaiian weirdo. Honestly, I think her accent is made up. It sounds different everytime she talks.

Marvita: Hate this conceded bitch. But she makes good pictures. Ugh.

Whitney: I think she’s the token “plus-size” girl. Meaning she has curves and is 10 pounds overweight rather than underweight.

Stacey Ann: Boring, can’t remember a thing about her.

Claire: The top of the bunch. Not my personal fave but her pictures are amazing, she’s very level-headed and grounded. She will most likely win.

Katarzyna: LOVE her, because she’s Polish and I can pronounce her name unlike the judges on the show. She’s so pretty and thin, but she models like a ‘mail-order bride’ according to Paulina.

So let’s hope this season goes well, all the boring ones are kicked off and some bitchy shit ensues!

Heather…

I have to say, Heather from this season of Top Model is beautiful. I think it’s weird that in pictures these women look beautiful, and then in real life they open up their mouth and they’re not the same. Ebony is a complete retard for quitting the show – I mean, who does that? I can understand that the stress of it all may be really depressing for her, but I also think that she can’t handle the criticism they give her. It’s sad. TAKE ME TYRA!! TAKE ME!!

 Anyway, Heather will probably win because she’s beautiful. And also because I really can’t tell the other girls apart. They are almost indistinguishable. Blondies, Dark skinned girls, oh, there’s one “plus size” girl who is most likely thinner than I am, and Heather. Good job Tyra!

Cycle 9?

OMG, I couldn’t even believe when America’s Next Top Model was on last night and it was Cycle 9?! Has it been that long? Holy crap. My favourite show on earth, even though it gets tackier and less model-esque by the “cycle”, Tyra proved how tacky she was when she threw on an ill-fitting show girl outfit to perform for the models on a cruise ship.

So far there were only two girls that made me want to continue watching, but the show is biased like that and I can only remember a few girls anyway. One being Ebony (below).

This girl is a huge bitch with a mayjah attitude! Wow, she’s so full of herself, at lunch she wanted to play a game – “Guess Who Has an Eating Disorder”! Love it!

The girl that I think may actually have a chance of modelling in the real world is Heather, but it is rather early to really tell. She is actually diagnosed with some sort of illness that makes her awkward, and she has a low self-esteem, but when she takes pictures her awkwardness shines and it’s so hawt right now in magazines.

Let’s wait til next week to really make our final judgements!